Hard Day

It’s been one of those days where my whole focus has been Get to bedtime. Just make it to bedtime. Of course, on these days the clock gets lazy, and takes its sweet time arriving at that magical hour, taunting me while my children whine, and cling, and deposit their bodily fluids all over me.

I love, adore, and cherish my babies, but today was one of those days where I thought: Two kids. Yep, I think I’m good.

Grayson had an appointment scheduled this morning to get his casts off from his surgery and then get casted for new AFOs. Then I got a call Tuesday “reminding” me that he also had an EKG and echocardiogram scheduled at the hospital at noon. Hmmm…news to me, but okay. (I did know we were getting these routine tests done at some point, I just hadn’t gotten a call with a firm date). Charlotte had school today, so it was going to be no big deal, and fortunately the times were right that we could make both appointments. My mom would just have to pick Charlotte up from school.

Not so fast. Charlotte had been running a fever and coughing since Tuesday, but I thought surely she was going to wake up good as new this morning. Ha. When she woke up crying and feverish about 10:00 last night, I knew school was a no-go. Cue scrambling for a new plan. The thought of taking my sick one year old with us to two medical appointments honestly made me want to cry. Fortunately, Ryan knows me and volunteered to take the day off to help. The only problem is he had to be back for his athletic period because tonight is his first softball game.

What we ended up doing was Ryan and Grayson’s nurse took G to his orthotics appointment, then they drove to the hospital. Ryan signed all the consents and left G and his nurse there and came home to switch cars. My mom came over when she was able to stay with Charlotte and I made my way to the hospital. By the time I got there, they were finished, so I just picked them up (didn’t have to pay for parking!) and we drove home.

By this time it was about 2:45. Poor sick Charlotte who was fine as long as I was holding her, standing up. Otherwise- SCREAMING, tears, and snot. And there was Grayson, who had not napped at all but wanted nothing to do with a nap at this point. Grayson, who also wanted to be held, and sang to, and didn’t want to share his mommy with his hot-mess of a sister. And Grayson, who between 3:00 and 5:00, managed to fall out of his chair three times and face plant on the floor. Sigh. We really need to figure out how to get him a new chair.

We survived, I guess. Both children are asleep at the moment, and I’m probably not far behind them. I think I have a touch of whatever Charlotte is fighting, and I know that made today just that much harder. And I’m reading this and thinking- this is not that big a deal. I have been through so much worse as a mom. Why was today so hard?

I think today really wore on my emotions. I don’t like missing Grayson’s appointments, and hearing information second hand. I want to be the one to hold him and comfort him during tests, not his nurse. I hate Charlotte being sick; rationally, I know she’s healthy and it’s normal- kids get sick, but there’s always this underlying fear that something will be wrong with her too. And I don’t like being stuck at home nearly all day- I like our routine, our scheduled days, and I feel suffocated when we are home too many hours in a row.

So tonight, I am praying both my babies SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT and wake up well and happy. That’s not too much to ask right? We have things to do tomorrow- save me!

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4 thoughts on “Hard Day

  1. Sorry you had such a rough day! I know those “two is plenty” days!! I just want to recommend again the special tomato soft touch sitter (with mobile base)! We have two of them and I just noticed a crack on the one that's two years old, I called the company and they're sending a new one no questions asked! We paid for our first out of pocket (adaptive mall has the best price), but our second was actually covered by our insurance! (Even though we already have a wheelchair!) We were actually going to just use our extra MDCP funds for DME to cover it, but we didn't have to!

  2. That sounds like a pretty gnarly day to me! I hope they slept for you, and that you got some sleep yourself. It's hard to be everywhere at once. Mama's can't do it all, even though we think we can. So hard when both kids need you NOW. I hope everyone is feeling better today…

  3. Man, that sounds like a really hard day. And I can totally imagine being upset that you missed Grayson's appointments. I don't like missing Teo's bedtime! I'd go crazy if I missed an appointment. But sometimes we can't be there, and in the end, it's okay. I'm sorry it was such a hard day. I hope next week is much better.

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