I have lived my entire life in a safe, comfortable, Christian bubble. My testimony up until very recently would bore you to tears; I followed the rules, and literally have not one skeleton in my closet. I stayed in the background, and didn’t ever question the religion that professed love, kindness, and a savior that guaranteed a ticket to Heaven.

But the thing is, I no longer identify with the brand of Christianity that raised me. Today, that brand looks a whole lot more like nationalism than it does Jesus.

I’m seeing the very people who taught me to love my enemy and the meaning behind the story of the Good Samaritan embrace policies that turn away hurting and desperate refugees because of their nationality.

I’m seeing women whom I’ve looked to as Biblical examples cheer the return to “America First” and “taking care of our own”, and yet, I can’t find anything in my Bible to support that ideology.

I’m seeing post after post from Pro-Life Christians professing All Lives Matter, but then those same people are silent when actual innocent lives are disrupted or threatened by our own government.

And I’m continually reminded that the religion that taught me that I ought to live by the Ten Commandments, the Fruit of the Spirit and the B-Attitudes elected and is now supporting a man who is obsessed with self-promotion, building walls and with how far he can take his power.

And I’m done.

How is this making America great? We want God back in our country? How about we start by showing Jesus to people fleeing literal carnage (not the supposed widespread American carnage Trump referred to in his inaugural speech) instead of telling them they aren’t welcome here? Instead of rolling our eyes at protestors at the airports, why don’t we join them in demanding people be treated with dignity and be allowed to be reunited with their families, homes, and jobs? America will never be great if we praise God on Sunday but turn our backs on the oppressed, hurting, and least of these every other day of the week.

There are plenty of political justifications (although I would argue a lot of them are also immoral) for the crap Trump has pulled in just 9 days in office. But don’t try and justify them with Jesus, or American evangelical Christianity.

I’m just not buying it anymore.


Letters to Charlotte: 4 Years


Dear Charlotte,
Happy Birthday to my best girl! Last Friday, you turned four years old, and I think both of us are very much looking forward to this coming year. Age three was a year of a lot of growth for you, and while I will always carry sweet memories of you at age three, I won’t soon forget how challenging it was either. But recently, I see a side of you emerging that is softer, and more mature, and I can’t wait to see who Four Year Old Charlotte turns out to be. 

Charlotte, at 4 years old you:

  • Weigh 34.8 pounds (52%) and are 39.25 inches tall (43%)
  • Wear size 4T clothes and size 8 shoes
  • Went an entire year without being sick once
  • Know all your letters and most of their sounds. You are obsessed with the letter “C” and point out “C for Charlotte” letters constantly
  • Are beginning to write letters although you don’t have much interest in it most days
  • Love to play pretend, swing, watch your shows, and do any kind of art project
  • Cannot stand to be by yourself. It’s a struggle to get you to go to your room or play room if anyone else in the family is downstairs
  • Finally are turning around your relationship with Grayson. Lately, you have been really sweet to him- giving him hugs and kisses and bringing him toys
  • Adore Nolan and love playing with him, but you also get super frustrated with him when he takes your stuff or messes up your projects. I don’t blame you. But for the most part  you are sweet to him and my favorite thing is to hear you encourage and praise him.
  • Love school and are always happy to go. Your favorite class is still drama.
  • We had a tea party on Saturday with a few close friends and family, and you absolutely loved it. You colored flower pots and planted seeds, played in the backyard with your friends, ate Chick Fil A nuggets and drank “tea” (hot cocoa) from real glass tea cups. Aunt Hannah made gorgeous, delicious cupcakes, and you got some really great new toys and art supplies.

Charlotte, you know I love you so, so much. You make me laugh, sometimes cry, and always feel so lucky that God chose me to be your mommy. Happy 4 years, sweet girl.
Love, Mommy

Letters to Nolan: 16 Months

Dear Nolan,

Happy New Year little dude! It’s hard to believe you have been here for parts of three calendar years already. You are now a full-fledged TODDLER- full of energy, curiosity, and naughtiness. You are into everything, and your name has never been more appropriate because you hear the first syllable about 1000 times a day. 

Nolan, at 16 months  you:

  • Weigh 23 pounds 4 ounces
  • Wear size 12-18 and 18 month clothing, size 4 diapers and size 5 shoes
  • Have 4 teeth that are now fully “in” (no sign of any others coming in though)
  • You have a temper. You get frustrated and MAD really fast, and you scream and bang your head on objects or people. Stop that! You have a nice bruise on your forehead from banging your head on the tile.
  • You are starting to be a lot more verbal. You say Mama, Dada, Bye Bye and Ta Da! regularly, but you mostly just point and grunt to get what you want.
  • Just this week, you had your first sick visit to the doctor. We tried a new pediatrician and really liked her. She diagnosed you with bronchiolitis and prescribed rest and fluids. Your breathing sounded awful for a few days but you are definitely on the mend.
  • You are now refusing to eat your previous favorite food, blueberries. You will eat any other berry I give  you but throw blueberries on the floor. Weird.
  • You are drinking whole milk from bottles and I’m not in any hurry to wean you from them.
  • You either refuse to nap or nap 2.5+ hours. The key to you taking a good nap is to put you down before 11 am. You go to bed at 6:00 pm, wake up once or twice at night and get up for the day about 6 am. (And it doesn’t matter when we put you to bed- you are up at or before 6).
  • You fight like crazy with your sister but she is still your favorite person.

Nolan, these early toddler months are challenging, frustrating, but also full of snuggles, laughter and lots of love. You are so cute and we just adore you, naughtiness and all.