Sweet Baby Boy,

What is the deal with you and the month of September? You were born last September, and we just celebrated  your birthday last week- isn’t that enough (good) excitement for one month? Do we really have to add terrifying medical scares to the mix? Last year, you were rushed to the ER and had your very first ambulance ride, and last night, we had a repeat performance. Here’s what happened:

You were really fussy all day yesterday- at first I thought you might be getting ready to cut another tooth (when are you going to do that, by the way? It’s been months since a new one made its appearance). Fussy, snotty nose, diarrhea, low grade fever- I was sure I was right. We had Physical Therapy in the morning, and you screamed through the whole thing. The rest of the day we basically spent on the couch, and you switched between crying and napping.

By the afternoon your fever peaked at 102.8. High for you (you always run low, just like I do), but from everything I’ve read and heard from my mommy friends, not dangerous. Then I remembered there were 5 kids sent home from your daycare class on Monday with Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. You didn’t have any sores, but I figured maybe they were coming and you just had the other symptoms. I decided not to call Dr. D (cue mommy guilt) because if it was a virus or teething, there was nothing she was going to be able to do. I’m so sorry I didn’t, little dude.

I put you to bed at 6:00 like usual, but you didn’t fall right to sleep as usual. You cried and cried. I went and got you and we sat and tried to watch some TV and I attempted to give you a bottle, which you refused. After about 15 minutes, I decided to put you back in your crib and let you cry it out. When you are tired, you don’t like to be rocked anyway; you just want to be in your bed with your thumb in your mouth. This time, you fell fast asleep.

At about 7:15 (I remember the time because I was about halfway into the Big Bang Theory) I heard you grunting in the monitor. It was a sound I’d never heard you make before. You do make a lot of noise while you’re sleeping  though, so I confess I didn’t go in  your room right away. The grunting didn’t stop, so I went in and noticed you were face down in your crib. I decided to attempt to turn you over on your back but when I lifted you up, you were soaking wet and your crib sheet was soaked. I picked you up and you were totally limp. I ran with you in my arms to the living room and was shocked- you were pale, your eyes rolled back, your lips trembling and you weren’t responding to me screaming your name at all. I immediately picked up my phone and dialed 911.

As I was talking to the 911 operator, I felt very calm inside. I knew I had to remain calm for you. However, listening to my own voice was like listening to someone else- I sounded hysterical. It really was like two different people in that room. After giving the operator our address, I hung up and paced with you from the front of the house to the back. You were moaning and would still not respond to me.  But then, even before the paramedics arrived, I knew the seizure was over and you were ok. You were still fussy and disoriented, but were breathing normally and looked more “normal”.

They took your vitals and then a few minutes later, we got in the ambulance. We both lay on the stretcher, you on top of me. The paramedic gave you both Tylenol and Ibuprofen on the way to the hospital. You do realize this was your second ambulance ride and  you are only 1 year and 1 week old, right?

At the hospital, they took blood (which of course with your tiny, almost nonexistent veins was no small feat), hooked you up to an IV, and did a CAT scan and chest X-Ray. All normal. The doctor came in and wanted to do a spinal tap to rule out meningitis. We refused. I know you don’t have meningitis and didn’t want to put you through that (again- you’ve already had 2 of those in your life). The doctor was not happy that we refused the spinal tap,and made me sign papers that we were going against medical advice, but I know we did the right thing.

You were “diagnosed” with a febrile seizure, but Dr. R, your neurologist, told me this would happen. That you are in another category and it may not be febrile. We couldn’t get him on the phone last night and I am waiting to hear from him this morning. You still feel crummy today- your fever is back up and you are having nasty diarrhea. We have an appointment this afternoon with Dr. D- I hope she can help us get you to feeling better!

So let’s make a deal now, Dude. NO MORE September drama, ok? You are totally, completely worth everything you make us go through, but seriously. September should be all about your birthday, not ambulance rides, hospital visits, and scaring your parents to death.

I love you so, so much and I’m so sorry you’re sick.

Love,
Mommy

Grayson had his 12 Month checkup this morning with Dr. D. Medical stuff aside, I was amazed and excited at how busy Grayson was- it wasn’t very long ago I could just hold him still while we waited and when Dr. D examined him- um, not so much anymore! He wiggled and rolled all over the exam table- kicking his legs, waving his arms, and grabbing the stethoscope. Dr. D gave him a tongue depressor to hold instead, and he promptly transferred it from one hand to the other…little showoff! (transferring is a milestone that took G a long time to acheive, but he’s got it now!).

12 Month Stats:

Weight: 16 pounds, 15.5 ounces (0.29%)
Height: 28.25 inches (8.06%)

Nothing new- we are obviously still concerned with weight. Overall, eating is going well, but it’s a slow process. We decided we are going to go ahead and introduce Pediasure, even though I was against it when we saw the GI doctor in July. But I have to do everything I can to get him to gain weight so he can grow. It will be interesting to see if he likes it.

Grayson did not get any vaccinations today. After much consideration, I just don’t feel comfortable giving him shots until we have more information about what’s going on with him. I told Dr. D I want to wait until we see the genetics specialist in November to make any decisions about future vaccinations.

It’s interesting that today was his one year checkup- exactly one year ago today, this was Grayson at his 5 day checkup:

This was the moment that we found out Grayson was a very sick little baby- his temperature was dangerously low, and he had dropped to 4 pounds, 9 ounces. We were immediately sent to the ER, and then a few hours later, transferred by ambulance downtown.

The memory of a year ago is obviously very emotional for me. It’s hard for me to even write this because that day was so scary and horrible. I’m just still so thankful we did have that appointment and for the doctors and nurses who saved his little life that day. I told Dr. D today was a much happier appointment than September 27, 2010!

Yesterday we celebrated Grayson with family and friends! I did a pretty good job of sticking to my goal of making his party sweet and simple. I did, however, get my craft-on and made several fun little things for the party.

Dear Grayson,

Happy Birthday to YOU!

Last September 22, I never would have imagined what a year we would have. It’s been a year of joy, of precious, tender moments as well as silly, goofy ones. I love being silly with you and watching your face light up with a smile and listening to your belly laugh. I love cuddling with you as you lay your head on my shoulder with your thumb in your mouth. I love watching you each day become more curious and inquisitive with the world and I love helping you learn new things. I love you. Exactly the way you are.

Yes, it’s been a year of joy, but also one of uncertainty. You’ve been through more than your fair share of tests and doctors’ visits this year, and there are still so many unknowns. I wouldn’t change a thing though. This year, and YOU, have taught me to trust my instincts and to ask questions, to press for answers. I think being your mom has made me tougher in a lot of ways, but softer and kinder in some ways too. I look at the world, and people, differently because of you. I’ve learned to give myself a break; that’s it’s ok that I’m not the “perfect” mom- I’m just Grayson’s mom and I’ll take that over perfection any day. You are your Daddy’s and my child, but more importantly, God’s child. He has cared for you perfectly for 365 days and I know will continue to guide your precious little life.

I can’t believe we are already celebrating your first year- it happened in the blink of an eye. There are moments I just want to freeze time, to keep you my tiny baby forever. But then you learn a new skill, (finally) try a new food, or learn to make a ridiculously adorable new funny face, and I want you to keep growing and changing.

I love you so much my sweet little man. I can’t wait to celebrate you at your party on Saturday. (And I really hope we get some awesome cake smashin’ pictures too!)

Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mommy

That’s right, you’re 1!

–Thanks so much to my dear friend Erin for taking and editing these pictures–

Happy Monday! I am writing this blog post then I am getting in bed and checking out the first night of the new TV season. I have had a sore throat for 10 days and FINALLY got an antibiotic today. I just can’t take this stabbing pain in my throat any longer- and I’d like to be able to swallow comfortably again.

Ryan and I went to College Station on Saturday for the A&M game- we had fun. He went for the football, but I went for this:

This is my very favorite burger in all the land, people. My mouth is watering again just looking at it. And if you look close, you can see the order of fried pickles that we devoured too. Healthy eating at it’s finest. Ah, Chicken Oil Company, I love thee.

The game was fun- we stayed until the middle of the 3rd quarter, then left to beat the crowds. It was the first game after 9/11, and I was reminded that 10 years ago, Ryan and I were also at the first A&M game after 9/11 (although not together-we hadn’t met yet) when Kyle Field looked like this:

I don’t exactly bleed marroon, as they say, but this picture always makes me proud to be an Aggie. I still have my shirt from that day:

Notice the date? I just happened to notice it the other day- September 22, 2001. G-Man’s birthday! I think that is very cool.

Speaking of G-Man’s birthday, it’s on THURSDAY. I can hardly believe our little dude has been with us for a year. Today his OT (who works with us on eating) came to the house- I made G a little “meal” of chicken (chopped in the food processor), mashed potatoes, baby food peas, and hummus. He ate all the different foods and actually swallowed  all his bites! It was seriously the best he’s ever done with eating! I cannot tell you how good it feels when you have a kid who struggles with eating actually eat (and enjoy eating) his food. A perfect end to the day!

And just because this is cute, and hilarious, here’s a video of the munchkin yesterday at his Grammie’s house. He is such a goof!

He is just the BEST. EVER. And he’s going to be ONE.

 I just made a little girl cry. A sweet, blonde-headed, pigtailed girl trying to sell Christmas wrapping paper and candles to her evil, mean tired neighbor.

The kids have been ringing my doorbell all afternoon. 4 neurotic dogs, a cranky baby, tired momma, and school fundraiser doorbell rings at 5 pm just don’t mix. So after I put G to bed at 5:45, I taped this sign to  the door.

10 minutes later…DING.DONG. Bark, bark, bark, bark, waaaa, waaaaa. SERIOUSLY?!?

I sprint to the door to find aformentioned sweet pigtailed girl standing on the other side of the glass holding her fundraiser order form. I knock on the glass and angrily point at my sign. I get this look:

So I opened the door and let her have it. I did- I yelled at a kid. After my rant I said “And that is why I put the sign up!”

All she said was, ” I…I…I didn’t read it.” Well, obviously.

So I’m sure I made her cry and she’s probably told all the neighborhood kids how mean and wicked I am and now they’ll be rumors that I kidnap kids and keep them prisoner in the basement (and it won’t even matter that we don’t have basements in Texas; they’ll all believe it anyway).

And I should feel awful. But I don’t. If you are old enough to sell cheap crap to your neighbors, you should be responsible enough to read signs taped to their doors.

The End.

Is there anything cuter than a baby in pajamas? I don’t think so.

Waiting patiently for breakfast

Good morning world!

Bright lights, bright lights!

Bedtime story, please

Which jammies should I wear tonight?

This afternoon, we had Grayson’s hearing checked. The good news: it was 100% covered by insurance. The bad news: it was right smack in the middle of naptime and G was not happy about that. The doctor did two tests, both testing his response to sound (obviously). I didn’t think to tell her at first that he has vision impairment and part of the first test was seeing if he would look at noise-making toys like a barking dog. He didn’t. This is what I observe all the time at home- he has trouble connecting an object or person making a sound with turning toward the sound and focusing on it. I think this is because he can’t see it. However, when he hears a song he likes, or hears my voice saying his name, he smiles. The doctor quickly moved on from the first test because G wasn’t responding to any of the sounds.

The second test was a computerized test- she put earbuds in one ear at a time which made beeps (I think) and registered his response on a computer. We kept getting interrupted by G crying- poor baby, he just wanted to lay down and sleep. I did get him to drink a bottle (which he later threw up all over me and the office floor- sigh), but the slurping sounds he was making and the crying gave somewhat inconclusive results.

So technically, I guess he “failed” his hearing test, but the doctor said she doubts he has a true auditory impairment. However, she does want to do a more accurate test just to make sure. If we start speech therapy with Grayson and he has a hearing problem, it won’t do any good. So we will do this other test just to cover all possibilities. The only bad thing about this other test is Grayson will have to be sedated. I’m sure it will be the same drill as when he had his MRI- no food or drink for an ungodly number of hours (for a baby) before the test and only Pedialyte after. Lovely. The doctor gave us a 3 week time frame to get the test ordered and scheduled.

Looking forward to next week- no doctors appointments scheduled, and somebody has a big birthday next Thursday!

So after the craziness of the last two days, I prayed last night that today would be uneventful, fun, and illness free. Grayson slept 13 hours straight and woke up babbling to himself in the crib and greeted me with his precious grin. And the best part- his eyes were clear!

Thinking we were over his illness, I changed his diaper and put him on the floor to play while I made his bottle. After his bottle, I thought he needed a (dirty) diaper change, so I laid him on the floor and took it off. It wasn’t dirty, but it smelled SO BAD, and it was soaked (after only 10 or 15 minutes wearing this particular diaper). After consulting several friends, I called the doctor, feeling kind of silly saying that my baby’s pee stunk. Anyway, they wanted us to bring him in just to be safe, so I scheduled our third doctors appointment of the week (and this is a short week!) after physical therapy.I happened to have a urine collection bag from the hospital (yes, I am now that person who has random medical supplies) so I strapped it on him and got us a sample.

After PT, we went outside, preparing to schlep over to the doctor, when I noticed one of my tires was almost flat. Oh.Come.ON! Thankfully, I don’t think there’s a leak (hopefully? wishful thinking?) and I aired it up at the gas station on the way.

They tested our sample and it came back that there is possibly an infection. However, since collecting in a urine bag isn’t sterile, they wanted to make sure and not give Grayson unnecessary antibiotics. So guess what that meant? Yep, a catheter. Oh. Come. On!

Grayson was a trooper for the cath, but screamed his little head off (wouldn’t you?). I was having flashbacks of newborn Grayson and the catheters that resulted in zero urine because he was so dehydrated. They hope they collected enough for the two tests they wanted to run- one is a culture they will send to a lab and we should hear results in a few days, and one was supposed to show results today. I haven’t heard any news since we left though.

So needless to say, this day wasn’t the relaxing, fun day I had hoped it would be. Whoever is sticking needles in a voodoo doll that looks like me, STOP IT!

We did have a good therapy session this morning, though. This is Grayson’s newest contraption- a stander. He loves it! I think he feels really secure and loves being able to stand and play with his toys!