Purpose

This is my 200th blog post. I’m writing it on the eve of my son’s half birthday. My 18 month son who I love and adore more than I could have ever dreamed possible, and who is so cute that my husband and I often marvel at how someone so precious is a biological combination of the two of us.

When I started blogging, I figured it would be a way to document my entrance into motherhood, to share pictures of my baby (and the dogs) with friends and family, and to record milestones, activities and other “fun” stuff. Basically, I was going to be a Mommyblogger (although I didn’t know that term, or its sometimes negative connotation, at the time).

Then Grayson was born. And he was beautiful, and complicated. And he hasn’t gotten any less beautiful, or complicated, in the last 18 months. And so as a result, my purpose in writing this blog has changed. It truly has been therapeutic to type my joy, my sorrow, my fear, and my frustrations in raising this very special little boy.

And I have gained so much by sharing our journey with you. I have made many friends through blogging and commenting on other blogs- friends who I would have zero chance of meeting in real life. I have been so blessed by those that follow our journey and their prayers, kind words and thoughts, and offers to help.

But I don’t want my blogging to be just about me, and my therapy. When I read other blogs, especially those by special needs moms, I am so encouraged and inspired. I don’t feel alone. I really want my blog to be an encouragement to other moms who may be facing similar struggles.

One simple idea that has been so encouraging to me is the fact that I can do this. Me. And you too, if you were faced with it. Regular women become special needs moms every day and none of them have super-powers. I’ve met a lot of these moms over the past few months, and I am in awe. In awe of their breadth of knowledge of their childrens’ condition, their patience, their ease in operating medical equipment, and their assertiveness in dealing with doctors. Sometimes I feel so inadequate, but then I have to remember how far I’ve come, and how far they’ve come too- they’ve just done it longer than I have. No one learns this stuff all at once; it’s a process.

I read today that 90% of parents who find out during pregnancy that their child has Down Syndrome abort the baby, one of the main reasons being they think they can’t handle it. I have to think that other genetic diseases probably have similar statistics.

We did not do any prenatal testing with Grayson, nor did we have any abnormal ultrasounds that would give us a clue anything was wrong. Had we known, we would most definitely not have aborted, but I can’t say I wouldn’t have thought I can’t handle this. I have days now where I think that. But I do handle it- some days not well, but God provides grace to cover me on those days.

So if you have to do it, you can. You can, you can, you can.

And there is the joy. Just read my blog. So much joy.

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7 thoughts on “Purpose

  1. Beautifully written. Happy 18 months to G and you too! You can, you have, and you will continue to all that you do with strength, grace, beauty, and a little humor thrown in there. Xoxo-

  2. The truth just is – you never know what life is going to throw at you, but almost everyone can almost always deal with whatever it turns out to be. It feels impossible, and then you just have to DO it and pretty soon you're like "what's the big deal?"There is a special joy to special children though. I think, maybe, because you're forced to step back and appreciate the little things, celebrate the inchstones instead of just glossing through them to get the milestones.

  3. I love this post! It has been amazing to watch your journey over these last 18 months. I've said it before, but I'll say it again – we are SO proud of you and Ryan!! And we love the G-man so much! Thanks for being so honest and vulnerable 🙂

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