Patience

Ever since we found out Grayson has developmental and vision issues, I have really tried to have a positive attitude about the situation. Yes, I have my moments of sadness and feeling overwhelmed, but for the most part I have stayed busy working on skills we learn in therapy and focusing on Grayson’s successes.

One thing I have really tried not to do is worry about how Grayson compares with babies his own age or even a little younger. Really, I shouldn’t compare him anyway, issues or not, but let’s be honest- all moms do it.

I found myself comparing Grayson to other babies yesterday morning. We take a mommy and baby music class on Fridays and one of my best friends and her baby are also in the class. They couldn’t make it yesterday, which was fine, but I did a lot more observing and a lot less chatting than usual. There is one baby boy in the class who is one day older than Grayson. He’s sitting on his own already. Grayson is not, and our OT thinks he will probably be a few months behind on that skill. Also, at the end of the class, the teacher always blows bubbles, which make the babies so excited. This is the only part that makes me sad, because Grayson can’t see the bubbles, so he doesn’t get excited.

So I’m not perfect. I have my moments where I wish G was meeting milestones “on time”. I wish he was picking up toys and holding his head up better. But he’s not, and that’s ok. He’ll get there.

We did get some good news this week. Grayson’s blood tests came back normal, so he doesn’t have to see an endocrinologist at this time. I am thankful for this, but at the same time I feel stuck- where do we go from here, medically? Do we try and find another opthamologist to get another opinion? Do we continue therapy and wait until he’s ten months old to follow up like our opthamologist recommended? I just don’t want to miss anything, especially where my kid’s brain is concerned.

Lot’s and lots of questions, and unknowns. But maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. Maybe God is teaching me patience, which as my family especially knows, I don’t have a whole lot of most of the time. G isn’t going to do things 100 mph, like I am used to living my life. Maybe there isn’t a medical answer right now.

This is a picture I took this morning- we are working on Grayson’s head control by having him sit in a little booster seat stuffed with blankets around him. We are also trying to get him to touch/grab toys on the tray. Right now, he hasn’t figured out that his hands can do things for him other than go in his mouth. The cutest thing about this picture is Hank in the background- just watching his brother work. I just love my two baby boys 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Patience

  1. Oh Elizabeth, I think we all do the comparing thing (I know you've read about it on my blog). It's hard not to. I can't imagine what it must be like having the unknowns that you have, wondering if you should get a second opinion, having to do specific therapy-related play. I think that would be stressful. I know as a mom not only do I compare Isa to others but I also worry about things I see her do. She does this weird thing with her head that I don't understand, moving it back and forth in this strange, undulating pattern. That concerns me. She also moves her hands around in circles, which is something one of my autistic students did and totally freaks me out. I try not worry too much about those things, but it's hard not to. There are so many unknowns when they are this small, we just can't know who they'll be or what challenges they'll have.As for the second opinion thing, I don't know if you want advice on that but my thought would be this, do you think a second opinion would make you feel better about what you're doing with him, or give you other, different things to do with him that would be more helpful? If so, then I would say go for (as long as it's not prohibitively expensive). If not, then don't worry about it. Good luck! Mommyhood is hard!

  2. You have been Super Mom through all of this. I'm often telling Kris about what a good job you are doing – staying positive and doing all you can to help Mr. G! He will meet his milestones….just at his own pace. And we will rejoice with each accomplishment, no matter how long it takes.Great picture, by the way! Good job sitting up, Grayson!

  3. You are an amazing mom!!! You mentioned that he isn't going to do things 100 mph like how you do things in your life, but maybe that is good because he will cause you guys as a family to slow down and smell the roses. He is such an amazing blessing!

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