“…Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
I’m trying. But at 3 AM when I am wide awake, uncomfortable, hot, sweaty and have a sick little dog plastered to my side whose tummy is making horrible noises, it’s hard not to. I’m worried about my baby who should be bigger by now, my husband who is having terrible knee pain even though he had surgery less than a year ago, our bank account which is significantly smaller now that my summer teaching pay has expired, and my sick baby Izzy. But the verse does say not to worry about tomorrow, and all of this crap is happening TODAY.
Izzy has had diarrhea since Saturday morning. I wasn’t concerned until last night, when she got up about 4 times and the mess had blood in it. So I’ll try and work around my work schedule today and take her to the vet. I just hope she’s ok and whatever it is isn’t too expensive. I guess I’m more worried because Izzy has always been SO healthy- I can’t even remember if I’ve ever had to take her to the vet for something other than vaccinations. I really don’t think I have. The good news is she’s acting ok and still drinking water. So I’ll just hope and pray for the best on that one.
Friday I had a doctor’s appointment. My doctor seemed more concerned than I thought she would about the results of the ultrasound and Grayson’s size. I guess the 15th percentile is pretty little, especially for an almost full-term baby. But, she was happy because I was meausring 2 cm. larger than I had 2 weeks ago. She told me to count his kicks twice a day and call her if I didn’t feel 10 in 2 hours each time. So far he’s passed with flying colors- we reach 10 in about 30 minutes- hooray! Oh, and since I posted about not feeling hiccups, he’s had hiccups 3 times-ha! Anyway, the most unnerving thing is the comments I get from strangers- this weekend I had quite a few clients at work ask how far along I was and I could see the surprise in their faces when I told them I only have 4 weeks to go. A lot of people have told me how lucky I am to be so small, and I guess in some ways I am, but I don’t feel that way.
The other thing I mentioned was Ryan’s knee. Apparently his body is not growing cartilage and scar tissue like it should and so he just has an open hole in his knee where he had surgery last fall. So the doctor wants to go in and remove some existing cartilage, harvest it for a few weeks to grow more, and then put it in his knee. There’s my non-medical understanding of the situation. We were going to do the first surgery over Thanksgiving and the second over Christmas, but financially and because we’ll have a brand new infant, we just don’t think it’s going to be possible. So in the meantime to help the pain, a few weeks ago he had a shot of some kind of gel in his knee. I’m not sure how well it’s working- he still seems like he’s in a lot of pain. And this in the middle of football season- ugh, not good.
So at 3 AM all this seemed very overwhelming. But actually typing it all out helps- and yes, things could be a LOT worse. I have a friend who just found out a family member has cancer, a family member of my own whose dog has a health problem MUCH more serious than a little diarrhea, and then there are the countless babies born who are really sick or really tiny. So I’m trying to keep perspective on these things and thank God for all the blessings I do have.
“…give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
4 thoughts on “Worry”
Sorry you had a rough night/morning, my friend. Praying for you!
Praying for you, sister.love,david
Sorry for all your worries, hope Izzy feels better soon, the pain meds for Ryan help, and that little G continues to grow, he still has 4 weeks to fatten up more! Call me if you need to chat.
Thinking about you!!! Everything will work out 🙂