You left this comment today on one of my blog posts from a few weeks ago.
This explains a lot. You spend your days listening to bitter “Christian” feminists and politics. You are what you eat. It comes out in your writing and countenance. Turn off the bitter feminists, close the computer, take a long fast from political talk shows and open you bible and read. Just take the word and read. You will be a lot less bitter and a lot more joyful. You will put less trust in people and how they walk out their faith. If you spend all of your time watching and commentating on how everyone else is walking it out all wrong then you will miss a wonder relationship with redeeming God who guess what – loves those people too. Could you also have compassion on the people who irritate you the most? Could you pray for them instead of blast them on social media everyday? Take the word and read. Make your daily diet his daily bread.
First, thank you for your feedback and for taking the time to comment. And, as I said in my reply, several things you write make me think I know you in real life, and I wish you would email me so we can have a real conversation about the points in your comment. But, in case you don’t feel comfortable doing that, I wanted to address what you said here, because I’m sure you aren’t the only one who feels this way about some of my writing.
I don’t want to get too defensive here, but you seem to think you know a whole lot about my life and how I spend my days, and how I should be spending them instead. Since I have 3 small children (1 who requires infinitely more care than the average seven year old) and two part-time jobs, please know that I really don’t spend my entire day consuming political opinions. My little people are really needy, and surprisingly, don’t want to listen to bitter feminists with me (Charlotte insists on early 90s pop in the car, and who says no to Ace of Base?).
But, to be fair, when I have free moments, I do listen to podcasts, read the news, and check Twitter. And it really frustrates me when people say the answer to is to not be involved or informed about politics, or as you put it, take a long fast from political talk shows and open your Bible and read. No. Of course, as a Christian, reading my Bible should be a priority to me, and you are right, I need to open it more. But Jesus calls me to so much more than that. There is so much at stake in our country right now, so many lives at stake.
Not involving yourself in politics (especially at this point in history) is a sign of PRIVILEGE, not virtue. If you are not paying attention right now, it’s probably because regardless of what happens with this administration, you won’t really be affected. If you aren’t poor, gay, Muslim, transgender, an immigrant, disabled, or of another race other than white, you are more privileged than you realize. Those of us who are or have a child that fits into one of these categories, really can’t afford to shut off the news and bury our faces in the Bible all the time. And if I am going to be a light in the world, and love my neighbor as myself, I want to know who all my neighbors are, what their needs are, and how I can stand up for justice for them.
I don’t know how to respond to your use of the word “Christian” in quotation marks- obviously, there are women who you don’t consider to be real Christians. All I can say to that is you are missing out on some really smart, brave, beautiful Christ-followers who challenge me daily. And there is room at the table for lots of ideas, lifestyles, and interpretation of scripture in the Body of Christ. I won’t be boxed in anymore to thinking that that table isn’t open to all.
As for your accusation that I’m bitter: Yeah, you are partly right on that one. I’m bitter that the Church that raised me has turned its back on everything I took from it as sacred, all for political gain. I’m bitter that a political party is more concerned about protecting the rights of a 6 week old fetus than ensuring my 7 year old child gets the medical care he needs to survive. And I’m bitter that 81% of the people who claim the same beliefs as me voted for and continue to support a man who brags about sexual assault, threatens nuclear war on Twitter, and bullies other Americans to the point where I won’t expose my children to him. Yes, I’m bitter that I need to hide the President of the United States from my kids.
But here’s the thing, Anonymous. You say I need to be more joyful. For who? For myself, so I can just go on living a comfortable life, while some of my friends and neighbors literally can’t sleep at night because they are so worried about their families’ futures? Or for those of you who are uncomfortable, or tired of me being angry? Is that who I need to be more joyful for? I’ve already been ghosted by a few friends who I guess can’t handle it. And I suppose that’s ok, although it really hurts. And I think we really need to become more comfortable with women being angry. It’s socially acceptable for men to be angry (even in the church) but it is not acceptable for a woman. Too often, we are made to feel like we should just shut up, put on a smile, and go into church pretending like we have the perfect, blessed little life. I’m tired of the facade and I’m tired of being made to feel like my righteous anger is a character flaw.
And as for having compassion for those who irritate me the most. I am trying. I really am. I’ve written extensively about making space for other points of views, following people online of all different political and religious stances, and practicing empathy with those with those of whom I disagree. I make it a point to have respectful but hard in-person conversations with people I disagree with. I don’t always get it right, but I am trying. And as for “blasting them on social media every day”, I hope you do email me to clarify what you mean. I try really hard not to personally insult people on social media, and most of what I post is pictures of my kids (because they are super cute).
I’m sorry if this came off too ranty. And thank you again for commenting- my favorite part about blogging is the dialogue and conversations it starts. But come on, if you are going to shame someone in the comment section, at least have the guts to use your real name.