Over the past few weeks, in order to get a handle on my anxiety that was spiraling out of control, I’ve been reading a lot of articles and listening to podcasts on self care. I’m realizing that rituals do a lot for me and help center me and calm me down. These rituals take a lot more time than my usual rush-through-everything-so-I-can-get-to-the-next -thing MO, but have been working because I’m sleeping better and I’m slowly becoming less anxious/angry about the chaos that I can’t control.
Every night, I’ve been taking a bath and doing a skin care routine (with steps!). To be honest, I’d gotten in the habit of taking a quick shower and washing my face but then either forgetting to put any moisturizer or just haphazardly slapping something on my skin but not really paying attention to anything beyond that. Now, I’m trying a new natural face wash, using masks twice a week, toner, and applying Korean snail cream and rose hip oil. My skin does feel so much better and taking the time to actually take care of myself in a physical way feels good too.
I am struggling with morning rituals, because my kids are such early risers and our mornings are fairly chaotic. In a perfect world, I would wake up before the kids, make coffee and breakfast and ease into the morning. My kids do not ease into the morning at all. Nolan never sleeps past 6:30, and Charlotte (who is supposed to stay in her bed until 7:00 but rarely follows that rule) is usually downstairs by then too. They are 100% full speed as soon as their feet hit the floor, and they are hungry. I could wake up at 5:00 but G’s nurse is still here, and both of us moving around would definitely wake Nolan up, whose room is right by the kitchen.
I am trying to remember to make up my bed, and pick clothes up off the floor, which really does help me feel less anxious throughout the day when I go into our room. And having everything ready to go the night before makes the mornings so much smoother as well.
I’ve also started the (bad?) habit of treating myself to Starbucks most mornings after I take the kids to preschool and am on my way to work. No, it’s not necessary, but I’m filing it under treating myself kindly and making the little alone time I have during the day as enjoyable as possible.
I know self-care is so important, but it’s hard to get past the feelings of guilt about taking time just for me. Ugh, why do I do this to myself? I know that in order to be the best mom, friend, wife, etc. I have to take care of myself- so I want to keep committing myself to habits and rituals that make that a reality.
One thought on “#NaBloPoMo Day 18: Self Care Rituals”
hi! I’m just someone who found your blog accidentally probably when you went viral, and have been following since. I don’t know how you do the things you do – and summon the strength and energy to care for both G plus two really active small kids. So I say do what you can to make yourself feel well and cared for – you matter in this equation too. I read an article the other day that compared parents to the command center of a military operation, and the higher-ups always make sure they are fed, rested, and coffeed up, because if they aren’t, they can make bad decisions. And when you have other people’s livelihoods resting on you, it’s important for you to be capable of performing. And if you’re run down, tired, not taking care of yourself, you’re not going to perform as well. Not that I think you need a reason for your happiness to matter, because it does – but if you’re feeling guilty about taking time for yourself, or to treat yourself, you can always rationalize it that a mom that is as happy, rested, and sane as she can be, is going to be a much better General for her troops. 🙂 All the best to you. And enjoy your Starbucks.