Fatigue

The Senate is currently considering yet another ACA-repeal healthcare bill, a bill that would significantly harm millions of Americans. Every major medical association opposes this bill, including the American Medical Association because it violates their oath to “First Do No Harm”. The Medicaid directors from all 50 states have spoken against it. And yet, despite overwhelming opposition, the bill’s passage or failure in the Senate teeters on the edge, and will likely come down to the yes or no vote of a single Republican senator.  

Yes or No. 

I’m so tired of knowing my child’s future and well-being depends on one of these two words, uttered by men and women who for the most part are simply playing a political game.

I’m weary of oscillating between terror and relief, with only a few weeks respite between the two.

I’m exhausted with constantly seeing the words Breaking News and knowing there’s a fairly good chance what follows those words will significantly impact my child.

I’m wasted from the sense of dread I feel when I go through a stack of mail and see my son’s name on an official looking envelop, or receive a call from an unfamiliar number.

I’m worn down from having to describe my son as a series of symptoms, disabilities and diagnosises to strangers whose clicks and keystrokes put him in either an “Approved” or “Denied” category.

I’m drained from not only worrying about my own child’s future, but also the futures of the children of close friends, and so many others who bravely share their stories online.

I’m fatigued from begging my friends and acquaintances to call their representatives, knowing the majority of them won’t, but having faith that those who do will make even a small difference.

I’m numb from realizing over and over again that so many people who proudly proclaim themselves pro-life (both politicians and regular citizens) also don’t consider basic healthcare a fundamental human right.

My spirit is tired, and my body and brain are exhausted. And yet, the stakes are too high for too many human lives to quit now.

Nevertheless, she persisted.

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