My third and final attempt at exclusively breastfeeding a baby ended this weekend. Nolan had a weight check on Friday, and despite my best efforts to get him to gain enough weight on breastmilk alone, he’s fallen completely off the growth chart. Sigh. 

I won’t lie, I’m really disappointed. I’m annoyed at my body because it has never produced enough milk for my babies. I’m irritated at the stress in my life that is most likely contributing to a low supply. I’m mad at myself that I spent a ton of money renting a pump that I never had time or motivation to really use, and then when I did use it, barely got any output anyway. And I’m sad that this isn’t working as well as it needs to, because it is working. Nolan is my first baby who breastfeeding isn’t painful, and from the beginning has been so much easier. And I don’t want to buy formula, or wash bottles. 
So, waaaaa. Whine, whine, whine. And moving on. 
I know- it’s not about me. It’s about making sure he’s fed, and growing. And he’s still getting breastmilk for the majortity of his food (we are starting with supplementing about 8 oz/day with formula).
I’m about ready to close this “infant feeding” chapter of my life- it’s been a really stressful, emotional road, and I’m tired of thinking, and overthinking, it. 
But this teeny tiny (hopefully not for much longer) milk-drunk baby- he’s the best. 


6 thoughts on “Disappointed

  1. Sending hugs and love to you. It's so so hard. It's a hard thing because as their mother we should be able to feed them to grow right? Sadly it's never that easy. I know it and know how you feel. He is precious and this will help him get a little more, but no failure on your part. Not for a second. Xoxo

  2. I think breastfeeding is wonderful, and I breastfed my kids, but only for a few weeks as I had to go back to work. But it doesn't work for everyone and IT'S O.K. And there are millions and millions of babies out there who never tasted one drop of breast milk (MYSELF INCLUDED) and we're all just fine! So don't stress about it my friend!!!

  3. i tried breastfeeding my 3 month old but between lack of milk supply and her not eating enough and reflux i had to stop. it is disappointing but at least nolan is still getting breastmilk and any amount of breast milk is good for him

  4. I think you are doing absolutely your best. You have 3 kids and all with different needs, esp gorgeous G.of course you will have a huge level of stress that would affect your milk supply. I know that oats increase and certain types of tea. I will check for you and send you the brand one of the ladies recommended on instagram.

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