It’s 7:22 am and I’ve been awake for more than three hours already. Yawn. I’m blogging on a plane, fighting nausea from the moderate turbulance we’re experiencing, while the people who surround me sleep in uncomfortable positions. But I just cannot sleep, partly due to the coffee my body required just to make it here, but also because my mind is spinning so fast with all that I’ve taken in this weekend.
First, there was the fun. San Francisco. Laughter. Too many carbs. Selfies with my bestie (how old are we?). The Blogess. Happy Meals and white wine for dinner and then dancing with Run DMC at the closing party last night.
There were the connections. Hugging Esperanza goodbye and feeling sad that my internet-turned-real-life friend can’t meet me for dinner or a play date next week. Recognizing a blogger I’ve read for years and finding out she reads me too. Talking to women who in my head are like, famous, but are actually real people doing the same thing I’m doing behind the computer screen with just a lot more pageviews. And a whole stack of business cards with new URLs to check out.
There was escaping my every day life and then the realization I can never escape (not that I want to, not really). I received a frantic voicemail from Ryan Friday night that simply said, “Call me. NOW”. As I hurried out of the ballroom to call him back, I was sure Grayson was in trouble. No- my medically fragile kid was peacefully sleeping at home. It was my healthy kid. Charlotte had a seizure in her crib and earned her first trip to the ER. It was a febrile seizure (she was fighting something and spiked a fever) and is fine, fine, fine, but REALLY?! What.the.heck?
There were moments where I felt very small. I live in a bubble- a white, Christian, priviledged, straight, rich (even though I am not) bubble. And it was nice to pop out of that bubble for a time and just listen. There are a lot of conversations I’m not ready to actively participate in, but I’m more aware of them now and where they are happening online and am open to more listening and more learning. And I want my convictions and opinions to be based on real knowledge and understanding, not fear and ignorance of what’s going on outside my bubble.
There were also moments that surprised me; one of the sessions I was most looking forward to was the Special Needs Mini Con, and it actually ended up being my least favorite. I made some great connections (“find your tribe” and all that) but the conversation just wasn’t what I was looking for. It made me tired, and I realized I really needed this trip to be removed from all that- that even though I write about Grayson, and Mito, and dub myself “Special Needs Mom Blogger” (I have the business cards to prove it), I need to think about and write about more than that.
BlogHer ’14- enlightening, inspiring, FUN. I’m already plotting how I can go next year.