I miss my furry babies. I absolutely believe our decision to rehome Chloe, Gabby, Hank and Izzy was the right one, and I know they are loved and well taken care of in their new homes. And I am beyond excited to move in a few weeks to our townhouse with fresh carpet and paint and not have to be concerned about dog pee, hair, and slobber ruining those (that’s what I have children for, right?). I also absolutely do not want to be responsible for keeping one more being alive other than myself and my kids- so please don’t buy me a plant, ok?

But still, I miss them.

This morning, Charlotte and I drove to the new house to pick out carpet for the bedrooms and stairs, and walking down the street was a man and his bloodhound. My throat got tight and my eyes teary- as loud, slobbery, and high maintenance as our Hanky was, he was (is) a great dog. And bloodhounds are just cool dogs, and I loved owning one. This other bloodhound came up to me and I rubbed her silky ear as she pressed her head into my body- just like Hank. Sniff, sniff, sigh.

Then this afternoon, Grayson’s nurse and I took the kids to a park where I used to run with my first dog, Pippi. It brought back lots of good memories of my single days, where I would spend hours and hours a week at the park, running with that sweet little dog. Today, as usual, there were tons of people there with their dogs, and it made me a little wistful that I didn’t have a companion on a leash. Of course, then I looked down at my giant jogging stroller holding these crazy cuties, and I wasn’t so wistful.

Although I do miss the dogs as themselves, and their snuggles, and cute personalities, what I think I miss the most is that time in my life when they truly were my “kids”. I love being a mom, and I think it’s kind of ridiculous I have to even mention how much I love and adore Grayson and Charlotte, but dang, this parenting business is so hard. It’s hard physically, emotionally, and logistically. I think about the years when Ryan and I were married before we had Grayson- I would take those four dogs to the dog park almost every single day. There was so much freedom and joy in being outside with them and not having to worry about schedules, feedings and bedtimes. Dogs are easy. I miss easy.

I know someday we will have a dog again (notice how I said “a” dog, not dog”s”), but it will be years. Our life is complicated, and expensive and unpredictable, and a pet just doesn’t fit with our situation right now. But I can’t help but imagine what kind of relationship Charlotte would have with our crew if they were still living with us. But you know what makes me…tired?  Thinking about Charlotte and Izzy pairing up. Those two have the same personality, just in different species! Yikes. So yeah, I think we’re good.

But I still miss them.