Today is my 3 year “blogiversary”. Three years, and when I hit publish on this one, I will have written 365 posts. A whole years worth of posts.
I do sometimes think about the implications of having so much of my life, and my children’s lives, out there on the internet. I obviously use their real names and pictures. If I ever had a hint that their safety and/or dignity were threatened because of this blog, I would shut it down or make it private immediately. However, at this point, nothing but positive things have come because of the posts I share, and I will continue as long as it remains to be positive part of my family’s life.
When I look back on my first post, I kind of roll my eyes at my almost 9 months pregnant self. Ah, so blissfully unaware of what the future was to hold. I had no concept of what it would mean to become a mother who slowly discovers her child has profound special needs. And to think, back then the only time I’d heard the term “mitochondria” was in 9th grade Biology! I had no idea that this space would be anything more than a show and tell of my family- an electronic baby book of sorts.
This blog is my story- yes, I write for others to read and appreciate the comments and support more than I can express, but I also write for myself. I don’t regret anything I’ve ever shared on this blog, because it’s all authentic and honest. The circumstances surrounding my son’s life are heartbreaking, but having an outlet to share the lowest lows but also the joy-filled high moments is precious to me. I know if or when Grayson leaves us, I will have this record of his life for the rest of my life.
There are some things about parenting Grayson that I haven’t shared, and I do regret not writing about some of them. Sometime in the last 6 months, Grayson changed. My mom and I were looking through old posts last night (and seriously, if you’ve never watched the video on this post, do it now. You will die laughing) and it’s obvious how much more “with us” G was before he was hospitalized in April. It’s bittersweet looking back at earlier posts with pictures of my little boy, because he was so different. And when he changed, after that illness, I didn’t blog about it; I was in denial. But now I wish I had, to have that documentation but also to better deal with my feelings about it.
Assuming I continue this blog, I wonder what my posts will look like three years from now. I wonder if I will still be writing about the struggles of parenting a special needs child along with an active preschooler, or if I will be working through my grief because he’s no longer here. I wonder if I’ll be writing monthly letters to another child, or if our family building is complete and I’ll be moving into the next phase of parenting.
The hardest part of blogging for me is ending posts. I have a difficult time wrapping up my thoughts without just abruptly ending a post or sounding cheesy. So today I’ll just be cheesy. Thank you to all of you who so faithfully read my sometimes rambling thoughts and offer such positive and heartfelt comments. I appreciate them so much. I treasure each of you that I have “met” because of our respective blogs and fantasize about meeting up in person one day. And to my in real life family and friends, I hope you know how much I love, adore and appreciate each of you.
Love,
Elizabeth
A New Version of Me 
You might not have written about the change in Grayson specifically, but you did hint at it. I think when you go back and read the post there will be more of it then you think. Happy Blog-versary!!!Also, I went back and read you first post long ago.. I love them! You were a different person then,and I hope that in a way it is nice to see the innocence that you had just three years ago. .
Happy blogoversary!I've been blogging for an extremely long time. Something like 9 years. And it is freaking insane to look back and see who I was then – but it's good, too. It's weird to have a record of who you were before things changed you. I hope you keep blogging for many years to come!
I'm a faithful reader and can relate all too well with your challenges on both sides of the parenting spectrum! I'm already missing our monthly dinners!! Keep in touch!
Happy 3 years! It is always fun to look back at older posts, blogs are so in the moment, not memories in a scrapbook that you write 6 months later, but the true emotions of the day, that makes them even more honest and real. You are a gifted gifted writer and I have enjoyed reading everything you have written over the last three years. Love you-
I stumbled on to your blog one night and have become a faithful reader. I'm a Grandmother with 3 healthy children, but three of my grandchildren have special needs,2 are now in heaven and our little grandson is Autistic. I so admire your honesty and determination to make your children's lives so complete.God's blessings to you and your family. You have been an inspiration as I share some of your thoughts with my daughters when they struggle with problems .
Happy 3 years. Wow how life has changed so much and too hard to imagine what the next 3 will bring. Hope to still be following your journey three more years down the line!
Happy blogoversary! I didn't realize ours were so close! I wonder if I write that every year. ;)My heart breaks for the uncertainty with which you must look ahead. I can't imagine how difficult that must be. I hope the next three years are full of celebration and not sadness. And I look forward to following you into the future, no matter what it might bring.
It's amazing to realize how much we change from year to year, and especially after 3 years! I'm so glad I came across your blog and am following your journey now. I'm sure the next 3 years will be full of both joys and challenges for you and your family, but know that we'll all be here, reading along and supporting you!
Happy blogiversary! I have enjoyed our URL friendship and hope to read you for many more years. Few bloggers are as real, and as positive, as you are. You're a wonderful person!I cannot imagine watching my child change he way you have. What you have taught me is that if it would ever happen, that I could handle it gracefully by following your example. We play with the hand we're dealt, and you've played so very, very well, Elizabeth!
I love your blog and your sweet family. Yours is one I always get excited to read. Hope you stick around at least 3 more years so I can follow your family's journey.
I remember Ryan's first Facebook posts right after Grayson's birth asking for prayers for the little guy. That brought me to your blog and I've been following since then. Your posts are so honest and touching. Many times they bring me to tears (the joyful and heartbreaking).Thanks for sharing your family with us.
Happy blogiversary! I feel the same way when I re-read my early posts. I already knew something wasn't right with K…but I still just want to pat my little innocent head. If only I knew how much I didn't know back then! LOL.
Happy blogiversary! I feel the same way when I re-read my early posts. I already knew something wasn't right with K…but I still just want to pat my little innocent head. If only I knew how much I didn't know back then! LOL.