Before I became a mom, I read and heard everywhere that motherhood (especially for those who stay at home) can be isolating. How moms spend their days changing diapers, fixing bottles (or breastfeeding, whatever the case may be), cleaning up toys, and in general, totally separate from the outside adult world.
Yes, I spend my days- except Mondays and Fridays when I’m now working- doing these things, but I do not feel isolated. My support system is deep.
First, I have the most wonderful In Real Life friends in the world. I have an abundance of friends I know I can call (or really, in my case, email or text) at any time to share a funny story, catch up on life, or cry to. I know they genuinely care about and love my family and that I care about and love theirs. It’s hard with work and therapy, but I really make an effort to see friends at least once, if not more times a week. And I am doubly blessed that a lot of my friends are in the same stage as me- babies, babies, babies! As I mentioned in my last post, it’s hard watching their kids meet milestones that Grayson is not, but at the same time, the support and love I feel when I’m around them far outweighs my sadness.
I also have friends I have “met” through blogging. I love reading blogs and have a handful of girls who I am totally invested in their stories. I try to offer support to them as they have to me through commenting, and sometimes email. I consider them real friends even though we have never met (and may never meet- sad) face to face. There are also some blogs that I read that the writers have never commented back on my blog, yet I still feel connected to them through the stories and struggles they share. You can say what you want about the horrors of the internet, but my computer and my bloggy friends have made this year so rich and offered much needed support.
Then there’s family. Grayson has to be the luckiest little dude who ever lived to have so many relatives who just adore him. I am the oldest of five and Ryan the youngest of three. I have four sisters in law who I just love and consider them among my best friends (who can say that? not many people). My only complaint is 3 of them live too, too far away. Then I have my sister, three brothers, two brothers in law, my parents, Ryan’s mom and grandmother, and a whole slew of other relatives. Amazing.
So, I write all this down not to brag about all the wonderful people in my life, but as a reminder to myself that my life is good. I know I sometimes take for granted that I have good friends, because not everyone does. Not everyone has family they actually get along with and want to be around. It’s so easy for me to slip into feeling sorry for myself for silly things like the horror that is my current wardrobe, the fact that my house is never really clean, and that it is 13,897 degrees outside right now.
I need to make more of a habit of reminding myself that life is about people and relationships, not things.