I love being a stay at home mom and I know I have it good. For the most part, I let G’s whimper in the monitor be my alarm clock in the morning and I am so grateful that we can snuggle, play, and take our time getting the day started instead of rushing to daycare and a full day of work. I love being with my baby for all his giggles and grins, cries and even his dirty diapers. I know that there are a lot of moms who would kill to be in my position and then there are others that would go stir crazy. Grayson is my full time (with lots and lots of overtime) job, and I love my job.
But every once in awhile, I need a break. I need to take my mommy timecard and clock out.
And by a break, I don’t mean the few hours every afternoon when he’s napping. I mean I need to get out of the house and not be in charge.
Ryan works really, really hard so I can stay home with Grayson. He leaves the house at 5:30 AM and on a non-game night, gets home around 6:30 PM. If he has a game, it could be anywhere from 9:00 to after midnight when he rolls in. During football season, he works 7 days a week and softball season (now) usually 6 days. He loves coaching and he loves his family, but it’s frustrating to have him gone so much. It makes me sad that he sees so little of his son during the week (I try so hard to keep G awake until Daddy gets home but the little guy is so tuckered out by 6:00 that I’m often not successful).
I’m having a hard time with Ryan’s job. Like I said before, I need to get out of the house. I am trying so hard to learn to be a decent cook, but taking Grayson to the grocery store is difficult- he can’t sit up in the cart and doesn’t tolerate the snap-and-go stroller very well. I desperately need to get my eyebrows waxed and my hair cut, but obviously can’t do that with a baby.
I do have help- family has been wonderful and I’ve had lots of offers from friends willing to help. I need to get better about taking friends up on their offers. Why is it so hard to ask for and accept help?
I saw my counselor today- she suggested (as have several other people) that I look into a mother’s day out program. She helped me realize that if I had some time for me I will probably be less resentful of Ryan’s hours at work. She was also very happy to hear that we’ve decided that Ryan is not going to teach summer school this year. I’m excited to have him home to have some real family time, at least for about 6 weeks until football season starts.
I really hope this doesn’t sound like I’m whining. Sometimes I feel really guilty that I feel overwhelmed and stressed and want time away, because I’m getting to do the job that I’ve always wanted. But everyone should have some time off-right?
Just wanted to share a little adorableness…Ryan’s mom stayed with G today when I went to my appointment- this is what I came home to. Oh, he is just so darn cute.