I wrote this post a few months ago, but didn’t publish it until today, because Grayson’s story is featured today on another blog and I wanted to link it to that. When I wrote this, how I feed Grayson was an incredibly emotional issue for me and I was dealing with a lot of guilt and feeling like a failure because I wasn’t able to breastfeed him. Since then, we’ve moved on to other issues, both serious (his developmental and vision issues) and not as serious (but SERIOUSLY, dude, when are you going to sleep through the night?!). I hardly ever think about breastfeeding anymore- and a few months ago there’s no way I would have believed I would ever be at that point. So I just want to say to anyone who may be struggling with any feelings of guilt and regret as to how you are feeding your baby, it DOES get better…I promise. As long as you are loving that baby with everything you have, it really doesn’t make that much difference where his food comes from.
If you know the story of Grayson’s first few weeks of life, you know he had some eating issues. Specifically, he was not getting the food he needed from me, which made him a very sick little boy. Of course, as a mother, this brought on tremendous heartache and guilt, and the first 4 weeks of Grayson’s life were probably the most physically and emotionally trying time of my life. At the end of Grayson’s fourth week, I stopped trying to breastfeed and pump. It was an extrememely difficult and emotional decision, but it was the best decision for our family.
- When I have another baby, I will absolutely give breastfeeding another shot. I will also supplement with formula at first though- we aren’t going through this again.
- There are some advantages to formula feeding: Daddy (and whoever else) can feed Grayson, I know EXACTLY how much food my baby is getting every feeding, I’m not strapped to a
torture devicepump every few hours, and I don’t have to deal with exposing myself in public.
- Yes, formula costs money, but there are some great coupons and Grayson now eats Target brand formula, which has the exact ingredients as the name brands, but is almost half the cost. Also, for most people, breastfeeding is NOT free- breastfeeding pillows, bras, tanks, pads, creams, pumps, storage bags, lactation consultants,and prescription meds if you have a problem- all cost money.
- FEEDING THE BABY is the whole point of well, feeding the baby. I have to remind myself of this daily. It’s not about ME, it’s about Grayson. I have to let go my pride about this, and I am still struggling about what people think about me because I am formula feeding. It’s getting a lot easier though.
|Controversial Old Navy onesie…I think it’s pretty cute!|