Church and Separation Anxiety

We went to church for the first time as a family this morning, and I have to say, it was successful! Grayson is a VERY good baby- he rarely cries unless he’s really hungry or just wants to be picked up and held. However, I had this fear that as soon as we entered the church building he would turn into a demon baby and scream the whole time we were there. Nope, he was pretty much his angelic self. We went to Sunday School first, which normally is not my thing- I’m pretty shy and making small talk with people I don’t know (because we know no one at church right now…we’re working on changing that, but it’s hard) is somewhat torturous for me. Today SS was really good though- the lesson was on making time/prioritizing within your family, and they even touched on sleep-deprived parents with newborns! I really liked the couple who taught the lesson- very down-to-earth and humble- they talked mostly about their family and what works for them, and I liked the fact that they admitted they don’t have all the answers and what works for them won’t work for everyone. I wish they were teaching every week, but I think they are rotating couples to teach on different topics. Anyway, Grayson was awake the whole time, just looking around and sucking on that pacifier- he either wants nothing to do with it or acts like he will die unless it is attached to his face- no in between. The few times he did make some noise was no big deal because there were at least 3 other families with babies in the class, and the director of the class even said in his announcements that they welcome babies to be in the room with their parents.

After SS, we went to service, and Grayson really loved the music. I play music for him a lot at home (he likes country music youtube videos a lot) and he really responds to it. At church, he was wide awake for all the music, still sucking away on that pacifier. At about 11:30, he got hungry so I gave him a bottle, but Ryan made me take him to the “cry room” because he was being such a noisy eater- ha! He was STILL awake when the service was over at 12- so except for a little catnap in the car on the way to church, he had been awake since 6:30 AM. He finally fell asleep on the way home, and I’m sure he’s out for the rest of the afternoon.

So as I am writing this, Ryan has taken Grayson to his mom and grandmother’s house for a visit, and I am waiting to go to work for the afternoon. I am so excited to be going to work- I’ve really missed it, but also it will be nice to have a break. However, I am freaking out a little too- I know, it’s only for 4-5 hours today, but it will be the longest I’ve ever been away from my little guy. I know he’s fine and Ryan will take just as good care of him as I do, but it’s still pretty hard. He’s so much a part of who I am- first being inside me for 9 months, and then either in my arms or just a few feet away from me for almost all of the past 7 weeks. Next week is going to be even harder- I am working a full day on Saturday and my mom will be watching him. So I guess today is a good transition. And yes, I know, having a child is all about letting go and I’ll have to do it a million times in the coming years. But, he’s not 5 yet and going to kindergarten, and he’s not 18 yet and going to college, and he’s not 25 yet and getting married. He’s 7 weeks, and he’s my tiny baby, and I think I need him right now as much as he needs me.
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