We don’t mean to be rude, but….what are you? We just don’t get it. For months and months, Mommy and Daddy would tell us, “Your brother is coming; he will be here soon. Aren’t you excited?” Sure, we were excited…to get another DOG. We honestly thought we were getting a puppy- another furry creature who would play with us in the backyard, chase us around the house, and in general just add to the chaos that we work so hard to create around here.
But then you showed up. And it’s not like we were prepared. Daddy rushed us to the car one evening- didn’t even get to say goodbye to Mommy- and we headed off to Waggin’ Tails. We love Waggin’ Tails, but we were there a LONG time. They brought us a blanket with your smell on it one afternoon- this was our first clue that you weren’t exactly the puppy we’d been expecting. You smell nothing like a puppy.
When we finally got to come home, Daddy brought us in one at a time to meet you. Although they tried to pretend they weren’t nervous, we saw right through that. What’s up with that? It’s not like we wanted to eat you or anything. Plus, we were way more excited to see Mommy than you anyway (no offense, dude).
Yeah, you are definintely not a puppy. You haven’t been outside to play with us even once! In fact, it’s almost like you don’t even know we are here. At first, you were very quiet, but the past few days you have become more and more noisy. I guess we are teaching you something- if you want something around here, you have to use your vocal chords! But again, you are different than us. When we are noisy, Mommy and Daddy get very annoyed with us and a lot of times put us outside. When you are noisy, they pick you up, sing to you, and shove something in your mouth with white stuff inside and you suck it down. That always seems to make you happy.
You have changed everything around here. We aren’t saying it’s totally a bad thing though- Mommy is home all day with us, which we like. No, we don’t get quite the undivided attention we used to before you came along, but we are adjusting. We have overheard Mommy tell several people that we have been angels- how about that! Also it’s obvious that Mommy and Daddy completely adore you and think you are the most wonderful thing in the world, so we are working on feeling that way too. They keep telling us to wait until you are a little older and you will be so much fun for us. Umm…we are skeptical on that one, but we’ll keep hoping! Will you really be able to play in the backyard with us someday? Take us to the park and throw sticks in the water for us to fetch? Feed us food under the table? (yeah, don’t tell Mommy we said that one- she won’t be happy).
So you aren’t a puppy, and we aren’t quite sure you are a human, but whatever you are, it’s obvious you aren’t going anywhere. So we will continue to make the best of the current situation- promise.
Chloe, Gabby, Hank and Izzy
One thought on “Dear Grayson,”
I find this funnier and funnier each time I read it, so cute and creative. Glad the pups are getting their two cents in!